Effective parenting increases the likelihood that you will raise children who are responsible, competent, and high in self-esteem. Children who feel good about themselves have no need to act out. You, the parent, therefore have less of a reason to fight with them.
1. Moderate to high restrictiveness
2. Insistence on mature behavior
3. High parental acceptance/warmth
4. High responsiveness
5. High positive involvement
1. Unyielding restrictiveness or extreme
3. Low parental acceptance/warmth
5. High negative involvement
Other guidelines for effective parenting:
- Say “do_____”, rather than “don’t do_____”. When kids are told that what they are doing is wrong or even imperfect, they often sulk or rebel.
- Rather than issuing commands, offer choices. Say: “First you_____, then you may_____.”
Or else: “You have a choice. You can_____ (what you expect), and then_____(the positive consequence that follows); or you can_____(the misbehavior about to be committed), and then_____(the negative consequence that follows).
- Don’t threaten consequences unless you are ready to enforce them, or else your kids will misbehave even more. Be consistent. Kids cannot become competent and responsible unless they experience a connection between their actions and the consequences.
- Never defend your actions when enforcing your rules – that will only lead to unnecessary arguing. Offer to hear your kid’s opinions and feelings later, after the rule has been enforced.
- Present a united front with your spouse. If you have differences about parenting, never discuss them in front of the kids.